A Case of Media Power

Let’s consider things together side by side, so that we gain a richer perspective in retrospect. (This is just an empty sentence trying to sound… Chim. Act big.)

Err…

SINGAPORE ERUPTS IN CELEBRATION OF YOUTH OLYMPICS!

WOO!!! ANG POW FOR EVERYONE IN THIS NEW YEAR, YET ANOTHER YEAR OF UNPRECEDENTED ECONOMIC GROWTH! ALL HAIL THE HOLY, WISE, ALL-KNOWING, ALL-POWERFUL, ALL-LOVING RULING PARTY!!!

I hope they do not jail people for being sarcastic…

…

HELLO, how many people are truly involved, as in, is it truly PEOPLE effort? Or government effort? For instance, as if I give a damn. All I care about is that I AM RIDING ON ADULT FARE AND MY POCKETS ARE ON FIRE! And seriously, how much of the people involved did it because they CARE… As with all major events, I suspect that people do it because the government told them to and pushed them into it.

Surely this event is gonna bring in money, but for WHO?

Will it end up in the pocket of a 80 year old heart-lander whose major concern is buying bread?… It’ll bring us more international prestige and recognition. And even more influx of foreign creative talents. Woo, our economy will boom as a result. And our citizens regress. If, if, if the government’s priority concern is doing all these things and drawing the attention of the international community – Rather than tackling domestic issues.

There’s always give and take, trade offs, in Economics.

I do not for one second, fucking believe in TRICKLE DOWN ECONOMICS. It’s quite simply plain Holy, Saintly, DIVINE bullshit.

The best way to bridge the income gap is to continue growing the economy.

This sounds like a perfectly sensible sentence, but if you think about it on a deeper level… HMMM…

I will hereby admit that I do not have much statistics or facts to back up my extrapolations. But I’m merely considering the alternatives here, being ever the cynic. Nothing is ever as pretty as it looks. QUESTION EVERYTHING.

Also, what’s with the giveaways? I thought we do not believe in giving fishes here. We believe in teaching people HOW TO FISH. And who are the people that we choose to teach? The smartest, the most talented, who almost always seems to come from abroad.

On the other hand, while all the papers are busy trying to turn themselves into some LIVE BIOGRAPHY of Edison’s PAST sex life, doing their very best to dig out ever more nitty gritty details of his private pursuits for the benefits of the public…

A 21 September 2006 article by the official UN News Service stated that “UN officials estimate over 400,000 people have lost their lives and some 2 million more have been driven from their homes.”[61] This now appears to be the official UN figure. – In Darfur.

A suicide bomber struck Shiite pilgrims as they were resting Sunday during a days-long walk to a Shiite shrine, killing at least 25 people and wounding 35. – Newsweek, February 24 2008

February 12, 14-year-old Lawrence King was shot in the head by his classmate at E O Green Junior High in Oxnard, California. Why so? He used to wear makeup and high heels to school.

It’s a funny, funny, strange, queer, weird, interesting world.

I’m full of mockery at the world. *angelic smile*

Isn’t humans such an interesting species?

Live A Life of Passion, Or A Life of Happiness?

These days I wake up pretty early, awaken by the funeral procession downstairs.

I don’t get how, or understand why people like to make it such a noisy affair. I mean, I like the way elephants die. The dying elephant will isolate itself from the group, find a quiet spot, and die. A giant dies without sound, or commotion, now that’s something.

It’s like, I think that if you die, and you don’t let anyone who knows you know about it, it’ll be like you’re still living on. In their minds it’ll be like you just went on some wild adventure indefinitely. I think it’s awesome.

I reject any notions of an afterlife, and I’m totally: There can be nothing worse than death.

Now that we’re alive as humans,

there can be nothing worse than death. PERIOD.

It’s utter frustration trying to talk sense, or KNOCK sense into closed minds. And I just don’t get why anyone wanna live that way. Perhaps they think that reality is far too much to take, they think they’re happy away from everything and escaping. But hello, you’re still living in the real world. You can’t fully estrange yourself from this reality until you’re dead or you go nuts.

Now, why would anyone want that?

Why would I allow myself to be defeated by life?

I hate losing. I’m wildly, madly defiant if anyone or anything ever tries to tell me that I’m no good, blah blah. It’s a survival mechanism that one is not borne with, but learned to grow with. NOTHING IS EVER HARD, as long as you have the heart for it.

These days I’ve been thinking forever about my future, and I’m still clueless.

The thing is, I know in my heart what I want to do most of all.

But then, of course, there would always be these reality checks from the environment, and people saying things like: Don’t you think your aim is way too far-fetched?

And I know it’s lots of ground to cover, from where I am now, to where I WANT TO BE.

I CAN get discouraged. But then I think about, HEY, why am I listening to the words of someone who’s not living his or her dream? I mean, if you think about it. There’s a whole lot of difference in the things that GREAT people and EVERYDAY people say.

The geniuses, the intellectuals, the visionaries, they say to BE YOURSELF. To be who you want to be. To dream big. To aim far. To work hard.

The people around us, our friends, our relatives, people working 9-to5, people with an ordinary family, people living a routine, they say to settle for what you have, they say to go with the majority, they say to act how society expects you to act. For good reasons, nonetheless. Out of care.

But I rather try, give it my all, go all the way to extreme…

I want to have led a life of PASSION,

rather than to have lived a life of ordinary, everyday happiness.

And the fact is that, I am fucking happy and contented, most of the time, if not all the time. I just hate the fact that I feel like I’m not fulfilling my destiny… TO BE FUCKING GREAT! WAHAHAHA!!!

To speak with wisdom and intellect and volume and knowledge instead of common sense and conventional wisdom.

To live my dream and with passion instead of 9-to-5, taking the commute, gossiping celebrity gossips, talking appearances, getting obsessed over the likes of marriage even when there are no good reasons for it other than the need to fit in with the majority lifestyle.

I don’t want to think like just another sheep in a flock of sheeps,

I want to think like an individual. Shine like an individual… An individual who’s socially connected to her friends and families as well. WAHAHAHA.

There are always people who have big dreams but never quite achieved what they wanted, desired. But ask yourself, did you even at least try? Did you have the guts, the courage to follow your heart, amidst a maddening crowd? Do you dare walk away from your comfort zone, away from everything familiar, literally throw yourself out in the open?…

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

And for me, I am pretty darn sure that I am in need of no extra doses of courage. I am pretty fine the way I am. I just need DISCIPLINE, DISCIPLINE, and more DISCIPLINE – Something no one ever taught into me, or even if they did, was readily discarded by me…

It’s easy to be happy, and comfortable.

But we LIVE ONLY ONCE.

I almost consider it a crime to not to have found yourself, to not to have cherish all the things that truly matter to you, to not to have found your beliefs and stood up for them, to not to values and ideals you treasure as much as life itself, to let yourself be ordinary when you could be great, fucking great, blah blah.

I Feel Like A Train Just Ran Over My Brain

It’s funny to me how insecure I can get sometimes, actually.

It’s funny to me how there’s this tinge of uncertainty, almost inadequacy amidst my I AM THE RULER OF THE WORLD way of… Supposing.

And most people don’t realize it, but I AM, I so AM the HELLish, DEVILish spoilt kid. As in, nothing pisses me off more than not getting my way, with ANYTHING. But then of course, being the typical human, I have my facade for fitting in. But, trust me, a grudge runs deep, as deep as can be, with me.

The only reason I don’t bear my grudges out AGAINST people is that I am far too lazy to handle the drama. HAHAHAHAHA.

So what’s my point?

My point is that the whole world is so damn wrong when they think that I can handle things maturely. Rawrrr. No, I don’t. And I can’t. I am quite spoilt and evil beyond words when it comes to this. But I pretend to be, because I’m far too lazy to be wrestling with emotional drama when there are more constructive uses of my energy. Rawrrr.

So I shall just diam diam, read books, and watch movies at home, my favorite leisure, personal private time activities. Free and away from the world.

The one thing I like about all these is that they’re straightforward, direct, easy to tell. No guesswork involved. Easy to absorb. Blah blah.

Sometimes I wish there are thought bubbles on top of the heads of the people I’m talking to. I wish there’s some bars and indicators beside them telling me what is their current mental and physiological state. I wish you could just know the answer to the most important and relevant question right away. RIGHT AWAY, with utmost clarity and absolution, zero inconsistency and error…

RIGHT AWAY,

you’ll be able to know the answer to the question that matters most to you. In fact, the answer to the ONLY question that matters to you.

Isn’t it so much better? Than hanging around, hiding your anxiety, trying to be cool, and your heart is just nowhere, and your brain is just clueless.

No amount of rationalizing nor theorizing can help me a bit in this.

And I will still do my very best to be emotionally neutral.

I will do my very best to be above these things, to be above fear, uncertainty, feeling negative things. Generally, I don’t really suppress what I feel. I push, I shove them away, I ignore them until I can ignore them no more. -.-

Queer

I think I always tend to act a bit queer, weird, strange, abnormal, whenever my Big Aunt comes visiting…

The supposed family portrait.

The terrorist from Heaven and the vulgar from Thailand.

I hate center parting. -.-

Yang Guang Shao Nvs.

Power Ranger.

I love to do this.

See.

I REALLY hate center parting.

Why are almost all the guys I know ridiculously thin?

BTW, he’s the guy whose hairstyle I’d really like to make him change, LOL!

Me and Xian Gu/ Xiang Gu/ Cun Gu/ Sua Gu/ Gu Gu.

Confidence is beautiful.

So this is work.

We were having some telesales gathering cum farewell party.

And my Big Aunt just came, leaving me bleeding whole day long. HAHAHAHAHA. I certainly love this bunch of people, quite a lot, because I was just clinging onto Adeline like she’s my tree and I’m the Koala Bear all day long, HAHAHA. The more you hug her, the more you wanna hug her lar, HAHAHAHAHA.

Plus, I REALLY REALLY REALLY think that I am quite the Hercules.

I can actually lift Adeline off the ground, then commenting to her: You’re light… As light as an elephant!

And I lifted He Xian Gu pretty far off ground too. It’s simply so fun going around sexually harassing these 2, FOR NOW. I really feel like expanding my conquests because it’s simply so fun!!! HAHAHAHA, hopelessly childish, I know. I can’t believe what I did lar. It only goes to show how abnormal I was that day… Because when Xian Gu was crying in the toilet after handling this nasty customer, as usual, I don’t know what to do. Seriously, I think my emotional response system is dysfunctional, subpar, retarded.

But I did do something.

I lifted up my shirt and started showing off my pregnant belly! HAHAHAHAHA…

I sacrificed my virginal belly to comfort a sad soul noe. How wei da.

So during lunch we were talking loudly, excitedly, and I love it when the girls were kind enough to get food for us, HAHAHAHAHA, you know, old habits die hard. I LOVE to be SERVED.

So they showed us this bunch of newbies. I was kinda, WOO when this guy came in. Then seconds later, when his entirety registered in, I was like, so so lor. HAHAHAHAHA. It was damn dumb because the rest picked up on my initial WOO real fast, and I was like rawrrr at their childish antics. HA!

And then there was this farewell party, I really don’t quite know what to say.

I’m never the goodbye-take care type. In my heart it’ll just be, till I see you again. Let’s live the rest of our lives the way that we do, till we see each other again, that kind of thing. I mean, farewells are even some kind of positive thing to me. Marking us moving off in different directions, doing our own things, that’s cool.

I think that forevers does not matter in contexts such as these.

Because what matters most of all, is that in this brief period in our lives, in this transition, we were together, we touched each others’ lives, we came out different, we learned, we progressed… WE MOVE ON.

Because everyone has THEIR perfect life to lead.

Keeping in touch is important, I would love to keep in contact… Because these are all certainly people that I see myself growing with, in our own ways, in our separate ways. And it would be cool to be able to talk about all this, all this changes, years later, with them.

But I am the lazy type. LOL!

I’m desperately seeking a part-time position, because I want to have more time for myself, my quiet thoughts, my reading, my slacking, for me, myself and I.

So this is really making me wonder how am I gonna be an Investment Banker. . .

The biggest obstacle I see is the LONG hours. Because I really CRAVE the time to at least just read a book in peace for a while, everyday. It relaxes me. I’ll work something out. Because this is what I want to do. ENJIAO THE INVESTMENT BANKER! It’s the perfect match for my personality as well as my ABILITIES. Yayness.

We’ll see how it goes.

The one thing that’s occupying my brain, my thoughts, my worries is my future.

Footprints In The Sand

Time, in actuality, is this discrete units in space. Yet, to me, they feel like a continuum, one second to the next. It’s simply, simply, my past, present and future converging at one point when I’m standing next to the most beautiful thing in the world, across all time and space, and multi-verses.

That tingly sensation that makes me break into a smile, a smirk, then washing over me with a wave of warmth, of utmost certainty, sureness, resolute, in an ever-changing, unpredictable world, is irreplaceable.

They say that some things are myths.

But who knows better than I do? WAHAHAHAHAHA.

This moment can stretch into eternity, if we want to, if we believe.

‘Cos You Bring Out The BEAST In Me

HOLLA! Call me the CHAMPION Singapore Explorer.

Learning about the Theory of Evolution is one amazing journey, way back into the beginning. When we were apes, when we were infantile apes – The Eternal Child.

When everything started with Africa.

某天我们开始踩出脚印

学会双手拥抱学会爱情

长出人类的心

What goes on between us, nobody has to know. And every now and then, till the end comes rolling along, I’ll be right where I want to be. I’ll be holding on, steadfast, firm, and strong. Because I believe, that everyone deserves to be happy. It’s been a long way gone. From those white bedsheets reeking of death and purity, to the never-ending drama, happiness, joy, sorrow, anger, frustration, irritation, annoyance, LOL, hands clasped together, and tears. . .

啊啊 我要和你一起走过一千个世纪
每次诞生 我都要与你相遇 (下一个我也许是人或蚂蚁)
每次轮回 都是为你

啊啊 我要和你一起活过一千个世纪
每次诞生 都只有一个意义
就是和你在一起

So how did we get here?. . .

Take the body plan of a fish, dress it up to be a mammal, then tweak and twist that mammal until it walks on two legs, talks, thinks, and has superfine control of its fingers—and you have a recipe for problems. We can dress up a fish only so much without paying a price. In a perfectly designed world—one with no history—we would not have to suffer everything from hemorrhoids to cancer.

Hmm, this is a very jumbled post.

Well, basically, zoos make me amazed at myself. For being a Human. Rawrrr. And so this leads me to the Theory of Evolution. And the Theory of Evolution and us being humans leads to this song.

The Onslaught of Ideology

I was briefly reading the pages of The Shock Doctrine: Rise of Disaster Capitalism.

It’s a book written by this woman who’s been researching from the frontlines for years. It’s quite something. And just a brief introduction into the book itself, I am already feeling how radically the book will heighten my awareness of the greater issues the world is facing today.

Essentially, I believe that all these shit that we’re having in the world right now, owe their thanks to ideology. Unquestioned, unwavering, SACRED ideologies of all sorts. Religious, economic, societal, and blah blah blah. Yes, I am very pissed off about the banning of condoms in Africa, and yes, I don’t get why people are killing each other over a piece of land that does not even exist in reality except in their fictional holy books, and well well well, unfettered economic forces have claimed millions of unemployed, bankrupt, etc. as its victims.

Nothing pisses me off more than closed minds and general mental retarded-ness in the failure to consider NEW possibilities, NEW probabilities, BETTER and MORE INFORMED ways of making human lives better, however unconventional or counterintuitive these novel proposals may be.

Any system of ideas at all ought to have its checks and balances.

And any beliefs we harbor, no matter how remote or private, should be subject to free inquiry and scientific scrutiny. People can quote their holier-than-thou supervisors, end a discussion with the insistence that FAITH cannot be challenged; and governments can dish out doctrinal shock economic therapies upon its unknowing citizens… But will any of this make up the best world possible?

I don’t think so.

What’s most remarkable of all, is how even people driven by blind ideology are NOT blind to reason. The Holocaust. Genocides. These are all examples of people vested by one idea solely, going out to exterminate groups of people SYSTEMATICALLY, in all SCIENTIFIC fashion, with breakneck efficiency.

So, what?

Pertaining to this, I think the issue at hand is that people have forgotten about LOVE.

The greatest power of all. The core of our existence. The reason of our being. They have forgotten what makes us HUMAN. <3

And with that, I rest my case. This pseudo-Intellectual bullshit.

I wanna be I wanna be an Economist in my later years!

RAWRRR

我是sian到烦到bun4 daoooooooo. . . . .

F! U! K! U!

Singapore’s Brain Drain

Brain drain, away away and away.

… Citing figures of Singaporeans who gave up their citizenship and took out their savings and CPF funds, he said this meant ‘losing about, at the top end, 1,000 a year, which is about – if you take the top 30 per cent of the population – about 4 or 5 per cent’.

Mr Lee believes this exodus can only grow because ‘every year, there are more people going abroad for their first or second degree’…

I almost feel a bit of glee at reading all these news about people who leave Singapore to head for, better shores. Because on many levels, we deserve this. We called for the brain drain upon ourselves. Who’s to blame? Thank you MOE for your wonderful education system. I feel like some lab rat caught up in some bullshit experiment. Maybe it’s my own fault that I can’t live with the system, because I do not see how it can work for me as an individual. And no, I am not just any other person, I am me. I demand the freedom to be, rather than to be MADE into someone or something else, by the big big, dominant Father figure.

Apart from that, even an idiot knows that to attract and retain the best of talents, you cannot afford to be so, hopelessly close-minded. Geez. We need to take note. We are a world-class city that discriminates some members of our own, now how do you draw creative classes with that?

Woohoohoo, so much for our bid to be a global, metropolitan, blah blah, city.

I am seriously pinning my hopes on leaving Singapore ONE OF THESE DAYS to be an Investment Banker at the MECCA of Investment Banking – NEW YORK. We’ll see lar, thoughs. I’m just a little Telemarketer awaiting my disastrous A Level results at the moment.

But I believe in this: IF YOU CAN DREAM IT, YOU CAN DO IT. – Walt Disney

Or, IF YOU CAN SEE IT, YOU CAN HAVE IT.

But, of course, my life motto: IF YOU WANT SOMETHING, GO GET IT.

I see why Singapore is always complaining about a lack of enterprising peoples… Because the most enterprising of all, would have taken the risk to just go go go, overseas.

I think it’s important, blardee, fucking important to take risks when you’re young.

When you do not have THAT much to lose, contrary to what society would have you believe – That you could be losing out on a great, wonderful, fabulous future… But why would I want the sort of future that others impose upon me? Create for me?

I want a future that is materialized by my own efforts, my own deliberate decisions, good or bad, I’ll make the most out of it, the best out of it, experience every moment as my own, truly. I’ll be glad that I work for the things that I want. I’ll take personal responsibility for the mistakes that I made and most importantly, learn from them. I go for proactive living rather than waiting for life/ destiny/ fate to befall upon me… I like to feel actively involved in the making of my personal GREATNESS.

I NEED MONEY!

…

I could start hating myself, rawrrr. >.<

Took me some thinking to wonder why I feel so pissed and frustrated, and alas, it hit me tragically. How a twist of fortune it is, for someone who’s always felt like she’s the RULER of the world and that she exudes this presence of greatness, well… It’s like on the one hand I know that I should play it cool. But I can’t. I just can’t. Not when. . . Moreover, I am so literally afraid of screwing anything at all, up again.

So I am still so confused and insecure.

And for the first time ever, I don’t quite know how to deal with this.

Because I can deal with anything else, but this is matters more than the whole world added up together, to me. And I feel like I am solely responsible, I’m in it alone, so it’s up to me, my will and wit and whatever shit to make it right, make things right. I am so afraid that I will mess up.

I suck, I know, I know.

I’m frustrated that I’m so inadequate in this. I hate that.

I mean, it’s like, I almost feel so cheated, lied to, or, whatsoever.

But I know, I know, it’s a one-way thing, I am the joker in this situation, that elephant/ bull in a China shop. It’s my choice. So what right have I to complain, at all?

Everyone is selfish.

But maybe, just maybe, I thought we could be selfish together.

Me, myself and I THOUGHT we could be selfish together.

This really sucks.

I’m so used to not giving a damn about… And having things go my way.

But here, I’m just powerless.

Feeling frustrated emotionally, then even more frustrated as rationally, I believe that I have no right to feel this way. RAWRRR.

Sometimes I wonder how is it that,

there is this assumption that I, should be able to deal with anything, everything. . . . . . . .